42.

i'm not getting any younger.

what the fuck. today i was dreaming about my future, blah blah, the usual. then my grandma reminded me...
that i'm graduating next year.

THAT IS SO SCARY TO THINK ABOUT. i have one year left until i become a productive member of society, and quite frankly, i'm not anticipating it. at all. and whats worse than that is the fact that i feel like i have accomplished NOTHING the past sixteen years of my life.
now i feel so stupid for dreaming about what will be. i mean, it's important, and it's what i want more than anything, but i spend so much time focusing on it that i don't participate in life.

so today, i'm making a vow to change myself a little. i'm going to be more daring, obnoxious, and exciting as ever. no more staying in the background. i want to change before i regret not doing anything.


right now my mom said 'college' and 'kathy' in the same sentence. fuck you.