Tuesday, March 31, 2009


it's so cute!
my favorite drama ended today. i feel empty.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009


did i grow up in the past 2 weeks or something? looking at that blog below and the ones after the one with kim bum, it's like i'm two different people.
either way, i sound like an obnoxious dickhead in all of them. but i'm really not, i promise.
i guess this is what it means to move on...? good fun.

last night i stayed up listening to (semi) old songs by cartel, a change of pace, and anberlin. and i thought about the days that i would listen to these songs nonstop and just think about things...and certain people in particular.
i miss that feeling, you know? having a crush on someone and feeling infinite regardless if you were happy, sad or mad about something that happened with them. thinking back to those times makes me so happy. he really did make my freshman year.

it's strange though. when i think of someone i had a crush on, it makes me smile.
but it only makes me sad to think about someone that i've loved. and maybe still love. even though he has a girlfriend now. i guess feelings like that change but also stay the same.

now i realize that falling in and out of love with someone is some scary business. because once you have that first feeling and it disappears, you can never really feel the same about anyone else again.

did you enjoy me being all psychological? i seem so cool when i get like this.

Monday, March 23, 2009


hey, fuck college. i'm just trying to get through the day.

i thought that would be a cool opening.
hi blogger! i miss you.

but what i said is some truefax. i hate thinking about what i'm going to do in the future. it scares me. and the best part is that im very indecisive. so if i follow one thing i could be fucking my whole life. great, isn't it. i just want to live how i want and be at peace with that. i'm not sure if i even want to do that whole mission of changing the world. if everything worked how you wanted it to, what would you have to live for? living and dying for a cause is overrated and outrageous.
but even though i said all that, i still want to leave a mark on the world. or, at least, in someone's heart.
human kind is crazy, right?

and today, i realized that these are my glory days. the days i spend with all my friends and the things i do will probably be the best moments of my life. i realized that after school and all of this ends, what do you have to live for? a job. money. kids. those things are important, but i want more than that. this is completely selfish, but i want to own the world. i want to experience everything and show off to other people the things i've done. not to piss them off. or to boast. but to inspire them to do something with their life. and inspire them to do things never thought of. and in that way, leave my mark on the world.

and i realized that the best way to die would be in outerspace. right?
you should live looking at the stars, and die among them.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009


^ the bottom picture. look carefully.

'bb letz taek piks of each uder!' 'ogm kei cutie ;D'
cutest coincidence ever. kim sang bum :>!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


listen to the instrumental version of Miseinen by The GazettE. i guarantee it is the most beautiful thing you will ever hear.

Thursday, March 12, 2009


haha omg, again, i forgot about blogging.

huh. nothing new's really happened recently. i started watching this kdrama called hana yori dango. boys over flowers. whatever. anyways, it's super cute. and he's more of a supporting actor but kim beom is super cute. and he's nineteen. so i don't feel too guilty! and FUCK lee dong wook. is super delicious as well.
basically, i need a korean.

i have the need to write an incredibly long, meaningful blog! but nothing big has really happened, so i don't know what to talk about.

alright. have you ever been unable to stop thinking about someone that you haven't even met? it's so lame. i mean, i always think about this one kid. he doesn't know me. i don't know him. but i like to imagine what he's like, and i dress him up in different personalities and looks because i don't know how he acts or what he looks like. but i really like him. so what i'm trying to say is i'm love with an image in my head. it's so sad though, because nobody is really like that. at least, nobody that i know. and yes, he's korean. i think it would be hilarious if i lived in one of those kdramas. that basically justifies my reasons for wanting to go to korea/seoul so much.

anyways, i just wish i could meet you, so i can get over all of this nonsense.

Saturday, March 7, 2009



okay, so i finished watching my girl. again.
it is so freaking cute. lee dong wook is adorable as anything.

i love fangirling.
and yes, i went veg. yay!

Tuesday, March 3, 2009


my tummy feels weird lately!
maybe cause i've gone vegetarian. all i've been eating is carbs.
garrr my tummy really hurts.

i must be crazy, or something. but koreans are cuties.

harhar i feel like watching my girl again. korean drama ftw?

Monday, March 2, 2009


lol jaykay. fucking sam's town is the best.
humhumhum. happy march!

the past two nights i've been having really weird dreams. all having to do with the same person. i'm sure you can guess who it is. but in all my dreams, i killed him. like literally. two nights ago i had 5 consecutive dreams of him dying in different ways, by my hands. one with a baseball bat, one with poisoned soup, one where i ran him over, one with a gun, and one with me stabbing his eyes out with a paper fan. it's probably because i read that review for batte royale. i really nead to watch that, by the way. but i'm kind of scared to watch it alone because i'm afraid it'll scar me for life.

anyways, all these dreams i've been having just make me want to not know you at all. thinking about you always just gets me in a down mood. so i don't think i'll talk to you anymore. just when you talk to me, or something. yupyup.

my goal for today is to download every single killers b-side. i love them. akekeke.
i have these fanatical daydreams where i live in vegas and have a job as the killers photographer. ahhhh. only in my dreams, though.

i also had this awesome dream that YOUUUU were my brother. oh my gosh. you don't know how much i'd like that. i could take you everywhere. i don't know. maybe that's why i've always been attracted to you and always been stalking you. gahah you're so cute. not in a weird way, though. in a little brother kind of way. keke.

i lovelovelove dreams. but sometimes it hurts that it's not real.